Fix, I'm jealous

no..no..it's not about love, man or anything you name it. It just my feeling after I read an article about people who can change their neighborhood with their power, their thinking and they start it by their-self. I hope it can called Positive jealous...

What is positive jealous? well, that's only my theory about jealousy. before I talk more about this kind of jealousy, I want to share about jealous in my opinion. Jealous..We can't avoid this feeling in our life. It sounds that jealous already our part of life, our-self and it can be danger if you have negative jealous in your life. Well, yeah for me there are two kinds of jealous (maybe it's only my theory but let me try to explain first). Negative jealous start from the feeling that you want get what people have even-though you already have it but you didn't realize it. You think that people very lucky than you and you will do anything to grab or take that from them. Negative side is you can't control this feeling and you will do unrealistic things or you just mumbling, blame and compare others condition with yours. And trust me, this feeling make you won't grow up and you just stuck in one place. People need to move and learn from the process.

Positive jealous means that you have feeling want to be a person that you adore because of their ability, knowledge, capacity, etc. And you have a motivation to do that. Positive jealous will give a positive result. because it will give positive impact to neighborhood. And I believe that this positive jealous encourage me to do something. but I am not really confidence, can I do it? 

There are a lot of dreams that I want to do especially about street children and poverty people. I want to facilitate place to educate children become creative, independent and has good characteristic. And educate the parents become an entrepreneur and has another ability to looking for money to continue their life.

Well..at the end, I hope one day I can be that person who can give something to my neighborhood. Simple dream for several people but it's a big thing to achieve for me..

Go Dena..Go!!!

-xoxo-

Dena 

it's called "WOW" holiday (05 Sept - 14 Sept 2014)

why I called this "WOW" holiday? there are many reasons behind this. I will explain it as follow;

1. You should know that I still new employee in this office (previously I work in another pharmaceutical company for almost 4 years and now move to another pharmaceutical company just for 1 month). Some of my friends surprise with this, coz it's very rare that new employee can get annual leave in advance. Well, maybe I won't get this permission if I didn't make a deal when I got first offering from this company. sounds like "negotiation". Yeah, considering that I already become permanent employee in previous company and I can get a leave easily so it's hard for me move to another company without better benefit, isn't it?

2. Actually, I already buy a flight ticket on Sept 05-07, 2014 to Belitung (Tanjung Pandan) with Wina, Riri, Cory and Laura (my colleague in previous company) but my close friend pipit (she is my friend since we were child) asked me to pick her mom in Middlemount, Australia where she lived now because her mom's Australia visa will expired on Sept 14, 2014. I already told her that I have a ticket to Belitung so it will be possible if I travel after that day.

3. There is a long journey to reach Middlemount, Queensland, Australia. I should take another flight from Gold Coast or Brisbane to transit in Mackay (if I travel from Gold Coast) or in Emerald (if I travel from Brisbane). And those flight has certain schedule, besides there is no public transportation from Mackay or Emerald so her husband should pick me but he doesn't has any annual leave left so it's possible to pick me on weekdays. mm..so confusing, isn't it?
so the possibility is only on Sept 06, 2014 (Saturday) so I can arrive in Mackay on Sept 07, 2014 (Sunday). Another option is I take flight on next Friday and back to Jakarta, on Sunday. And of course I refuse it because it will be so tired. Jakarta - KL took 3 hours, KL - Gold Coast took 8 hours, Gold Coast - Mackay took 1.5 hours. so total 12.5 hours. I can't imagine that.

4. The conclusion is I still go to Belitung on Sept 05, 2014, left Belitung on Sept 06, 2014 and take flight to Gold Coast at the same day. Herewith I show you the itinerary as follow;

Sept 05, 2014 05.55 Flight to Tj. Pandan (Belitung)
Sept 06, 2014 11.40 Flight to Jakarta (approximately takes 1 hour)
Sept 06, 2014 16.35 Flight to Kuala Lumpur (approximately takes 2 hours)
Sept 06, 2014 21.25 Flight to Gold Coast (approximately takes 8 hours)
Sept 07, 2014 11.05 Flight to Mackay (approximately takes 1.5 hours)
Sept 07, 2014 go to Middlemount by Car ((approximately takes 3 hours)

so total hours especially on Sept 06 - 07, 2014 is 15.5 hours. WOW, isn't it?

my story won't be stop here. I will tell my holiday story in next page, so it can be your reference in the future ^_^

see yahh..
#dena
XoXo
 

There's something wrong

Well, as the title here that I feel something wrong happen around me. The people, my office, environment, etc seems like doing weird things. People that I met, person that I loved, People that I care and People that I never seen before. My new office and all the things in side. All..yeah..all around me feel so weird and unpredictable. I can't see the path, I can't guess what it would be, I can't be me anymore.
Everything happen suddenly and I didn't imagine before.
Well, I should keep stand up, keep focus with what I want. I just want to prove it so others can see me who I am and didn't ask me anymore who am I..
I should always think before do, learn from my fault, and stand up after I fall. Today, they can say I lose, but I promise that one day they will say, I am the winner, I can prove what they doubt, I can do what they think I can't do. I am the only one who can change myself, not others, not her/ him..and not you..
Even you're the person who I ever love before..

Now I am mumbling about something that I believe you don't know what I am talking about. and Maybe in the future I also don't understand what I wrote. but I just want to keep a story that I ever feel like this. I feel uncontrolled, unbalance, didn't focus..

*dena*

Niat Baik, Insyallah dipermudah jalannya

Semoga tulisan ini bukan jadi ajang ke-ria-an diri tapi sebagai pemicu untuk selalu berusaha menjalankan hal baik yang telah diniatkan. 

Dan mungkin bagi sebagian orang ini hanyalah bentuk "ke-lebay-an" seorang manusia biasa.

****

Udah 2mingguan ini Allah sedang memberikan kenikmatan curah hujan yang tidak sedikit sehingga banyak area yang terkena dampak limpahan air yang tidak bisa di tampung. Banjir dimana-mana, salah satunya kawasan tempat saya bertemu dengan malaikat2 kecil, yaitu Manggarai.

Hari ini saya mendapat kabar dari grup #FriendsFromHeaven kawasan manggarai ketinggian air semakin meningkat,adik2 terpaksa pindah tempat untuk mengungsi dikarenakan posko sementara mereka tergenang air, sebagian dari mereka harus tidur dengan selimut dari kardus. Akhirnya sebagian dari #FriendsFromHeaven bergerak malam ini juga akan berkunjung ke Manggarai, dan saya terdiam sejenak. Apakah saya sanggup untuk kesana? Mengingat jarak Manggarai ke rumah saya di Tangerang tidaklah dekat. Menurut saya jarak bukanlah alasan tapi lebih kepada jam operasional angkutan umum yang hanya sampai jam10 malam.

Dan pemikiran itu ter#skip sementara waktu karena tugas kantor yang harus dikerjakan.

Ketika waktu menunjukan jam pulang, saya cek grup 2 orang confirm untuk datang, lalu 2 orang lagi menyusul. Dan saya pun ikut terpanggil. Okey saya ikut tanpa memikirkan gimana nantinya.

Dari kantor kebetulan bertemu dengan teman yang searah ke stasiun Cawang, jadi bisa ikutan "nebeng" dan naik kereta arah Manggarai. Namun karena kemacetan Jakarta yang kadang bisa buat kita "ngga santai" membuat saya telat sampai di meeting point.

Jam1/2 9 saya baru bertemu dengan adik2, bahagia itu sederhana ketika melihat mereka menyapa dan tertawa. Ini yang saya bilang malaikat kecil. 

Alhamdulillah mereka semua dalam keadaan sehat, alhamdulillah ada bantuan untuk mereka berupa biskuit dan susu, Alhamdulillah kami berhasil mengumpulkan data adik2 yang memerlukan selimut, Alhamdulillah hujan turun ketika semua sudah selesai.

Saya pun terdiam sejenak ketika melihat jam. Waktu menunjukan 1/2 10 dimana saya hanya punya waktu 1/2 jam sampai tempat patas biasa "ngetem", hujan deras, taksi tidak ada yang lewat sehingga saya harus berjalan sampai stasiun manggarai.

Dan keajaiban kecil pun terjadi. Diantara hujan deras saya dan 1 orang teman saya melihat dari kejauhan taksi biru yang akan balik arah, dari kejauhan kita berteriak (walaupun kita yakin hal itu sia-sia) dan kita berlari berharap taksi biru melihat dan benar taksi itu menunggu. Ketika kita duduk ternyata supir taksi biru seorang perempuan. Awalnya dia keberatan untuk mengantarkan namun karena merasa kasihan dengan saya akhirnya dia tetap mau mengantarkan. Setidaknya sampai saya menemukan taksi yang lain (walaupun awalnya saya sudah memutuskan naik taksi saja sampai Tangerang, namun tidak enak hati mendengar cerita si ibu supir yang poolnya di kelapa gading dan khawatir akan akses jalanan yang terkena banjir). Namun entah kenapa si ibu taksi akhirnya bersedia mengantarkan saya sampai tempat "ngetem" patas.

Waktu menunjukan jam10.05 patas sudah bersiap tinggal landas dan karena saya tidak enak dengan si ibu taksi jika harus menurunkan tepat di depan patas, yang nantinya membuat dia susah balik arah ke kelapa gading maka saya memutuskan untuk turun di jalan. Saya pun berlari di tengah hujan deras dan berhasil menaiki patas terakhir walaupun harus berdiri. 

Semua itu menurut saya keajaiban sederhana yang dibuat oleh Allah untuk mempermudah saya. Saya yang agak sedikit "parno" naik taksi di malam hari di tengah hujan dikarenakan pengalaman yang tidak menyenangkan sebelumnya, dipertemukan dengan ibu supir baik hati. Saya yang tidak "stabil" berlari diantara turunnya hujan karena sering terpleset, terjatuh namun berhasil berlari dengan benar.

Dan saya ingin mengulanginya lagi untuk mendapatkan keajaiban sederhana lainnya.

Selamat berniat baik dan tetap semangat...

Regards,

Dena

Suara hati

Hai malam..ketika sendiri itu menjadi hal yang aku nikmati, mendengar alunan lagu di suasana restoran yang sunyi, mendukung aku untuk berpikir tentang sesuatu..sesuatu yang entah apa itu, tapi aku mulai nyaman dengan suasana ini dan terbuai pada apa yang ada di otakku..masa depan, masa kini dan masa lalu..

Aku yang kini sepertinya tidak terlalu terobsesi dengan masa depan, hanya menikmati apa yang terjadi pada masa kini dan membiarkan yang telah terjadi di masa lalu..namun sejenak berpikir aku tidak bisa seperti ini terus..aku takut, aku akan mati perlahan. Mati dalam artian tanda kutip..

Hai malam..entah mengapa aku lebih menyukai kamu dibanding si pagi atau bahkan si siang. Tapi terkadang aku takut akan kamu, takut akan terbuai dan tak mau lagi menikmati terangnya hari..

Hai malam..apakah kamu mau berjanji tidak akan membuat aku terlena pada buaian mu..membangunkan aku ketika aku mulai terlena..

Tangerang,09 Jan 2014

@gantea supermal

Regards

Dena